I didn't expect that seeing you again would stir up my heart. I didn't want to be disloyal but the heck, I had a guy but you were still able to excite me, to make me smile, to interest me. One look at you and my heart would flutter relentlessly. It didn't help that you looked at me with such enticing eyes. I'd try to steal a glance and there you were, boring your huge eyes back at me. I was confused. I wanted more of you. And more of you I got. You made me love you the third time. And I didn't know how or why, but I did love you. And I still love you. With more ardor. With more intensity. With more of everything I felt for you before. You were my first love. You are the love of my life.
I was in a rocky relationship when we communicated with each other again. We weren't saying anything romantic. We were merely catching up on the years that passed through text messages. I must admit that I could not get enough of you, of your face which I've engraved in my mind. Every time I would get a chance, I would come with Mother just to see you. She was always going to that house beside yours, playing cards with a few people. And I would accompany her, pretending to watch, when all I really wanted was to sneak peeks at you, to feel you close. I didn't care if we still did not talk, I just wanted to be near you and know that you were there.
My boyfriend at that time wasn't doing anything for our relationship anymore. We were having more quarrels than you could imagine and I was being drained out of emotions. I cried over the hurtful things he said, and over the things he wasn't able to do for me anymore. I tried to do everything I could to settle things but he had too much pride. He was too selfish and he didn't dare admit his faults. When I get mad, he gets mad too. He didn't humble himself. He didn't give me gentleness. He fought fire with fire and even though I loved him, I had my limits.
Two days before our 16th month anniversary, I broke up with him. You didn't have anything to do with it. There were too many issues and he didn't stop me. He didn't reply anymore and that was it. Later that night, I tried to text him, pretending to be his ex-girlfriend. And it hurt me more when he texted back with such flirtatious comments. He told her (well, it was me) that he missed her, that he missed her beautiful face, that he wanted to see her. I was devastated. I admitted that it was me texting him and he didn't reply anymore. The day finished with my eyes bulging from too much crying.
I didn't hear from him the next day. I didn't give much thought anymore. I was depressed. I was feeling so down.I craved to see you. A glimpse of you would ease the pain even a little. You were my apothecary.
The following day gave us our new beginning. My sister asked me to eat in a nearby canteen. Mother was out of the house, playing cards and there was no food at home. After eating, we decided to watch a basketball game being held in our barangay basketball court. We didn't know who were playing but we decided to go just to spend time. When we arrived, my heart started racing. Your team was playing. And of course, you were there inside the court. I didn't know how to react. We stood at the back of your bench and watched as the game went on. Your game seemed off. I watched you run and jump throughout the court. Still, to me, you were a sight to behold. You jumped so high. Your legs were so thin and long. You were so agile. I was entertained. I caught you looking at me a few times. I wanted to know what you were thinking at that moment. I wanted to talk to you even though a whole lot of people were watching. I just wanted to talk, even for a few minutes. But you were too shy. Still.
I got more depressed so I wanted to go home. I texted you a message saying that my sister and I would be going home now and that you were such a snob. We started walking when you responded. I was surprised. You asked me if you could drive us home in a motorcycle. I didn't know what to say. We obliged and then in a blink, there I was, clutching your sides, riding behind you. I started talking. You were so close. You smelled so good even though you just finished playing ball. I wanted to hug you so fiercely, never let you go. This was the first time I got this close with you. I didn't want the ride to stop. I wanted to cry and tell you how much I missed you. I had so many questions to ask, so many stories to tell, but there wasn't enough time. Home came so soon. We had to say goodbye then.
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